Most of the patterns you can't seem to outgrow were not built by the adult version of you. They were built by a small girl who did the best she could with what she had. She learned to read the room before she learned to read words. She learned that love was conditional, that peace had to be earned, that being "too much" was a threat and being "not enough" was a life sentence.
She is still inside you. Every time you shrink in a room, that is her. Every time you overexplain your no, that is her. Every time you chase a person who has already shown you who they are, that is her — trying, one more time, to earn the love she never got the first round.
Inner child work is not about blaming your parents. It's about becoming the parent she needed. Speaking to her the way you wish someone had. Telling her: "You are safe now. I've got you. You don't have to earn this."
Try this tonight. Find a photo of yourself between the ages of 4 and 10. Look at her for a full minute. Then say, out loud: "I see you. I'm sorry no one protected you the way you deserved. I'm here now. I'm not leaving."
Watch what softens.
She has been waiting a long time to hear that.